My Usual Rambling

My life, I feel is far-fetched boring at this exact moment, leading to low aspirations for all the things that exist in my world. In reality the case should have been totally reversed as I am spending holidays at home with nothing to do and should have had been happy about this as it was all I wanted for a long time. I wanted to introspect and find things I need to improve on in life, wanted to spend some quality time with my friends and family, wanted to get back to writing as I find solace here. But things are not happening as per plans. Also there is nothing happening worth writing I can see and still I am full of thoughts I have to share and itching to vent it out. So there is the just me post about the usual dull ramblings about myself… 

I have started living in my hypothetical world, for again after long time as I am finding it hard to comprehend people around. Some complain and some compliment, everyone has a different opinion about me and it’s not correct though at times but have to accept it. Hearing about all that my close ones have to say I feel I have a split personality disorder. Following is how people describe me..

“You keep things to urself” – (completely agree)
“Can’t you keep secrets” (Huh..From the same person who said the first thing)
“You are an exuberant personality” (people listen to this.. loving it :P..)
“You are so quiet and why not visible” (the same person who said the above line)
“You talk a lot” (that me)
“You don’t talk much” (that’s me too)
“You talk about stuff I don't understand." (all the way me)
“You are so romantic, your boyfriend will be the luckiest one” (I know)
“Is there any romanticism in you.. You are so cold” (Huh..what did I do..)
“Oh look at you.. you are not in shape now” (yes.. I am in my liquid form..free flowing everywhere)
“You are so soft at your heart” (Really..what did I say to you?)
“You are too harsh” (Maybe..but with you..? did I missed any opportunity..damn)

I cannot understand why does the most stupid of all questions seem the most pertinent in my life- How am I concerned with all this? I know I must not intrude. It only adds to the general state of confusion already prevalent around me. Want to switch back to the happy me, instead of introspecting over this, also need to learn accepting things taking everything with a pinch of a salt..

After all I want to lead a beautiful life… 

Humble and proud, shall I be,
Thankful and happy today,
That I was born as me this time,
With my life, I can live my way.

Are you still reading this restrained blabbering? Go do something else; I am a total waste of time. On second thoughts don't go, it's better to have someone to shoot off my mouth to other than blank walls. I am too young to be mature and too old to be juvenile, so I must be in the wrong dimension! You all mean a lot to me.

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