Back again

Its already a new year (and almost end of the first month :) ). My year did start with a bang with a short vacation to my native place….hope it continues the same way. 2009 was all work and study and no time to blog, but now I am back. One of my resolutions for this New Year is to be able to blog on regularly. Also many of my friends and colleagues wanted me to continue writing, therefore logged in the blogger account today.

This time around it feels really different to blog. I feel older. But I can say my life is in the same place it was 1 years ago except made few good friends...lost many, made many mistakes...learned few things from them. The hard times and the lightest moments which were kept in the drafts were revisited… I did double check the drafts which I had to post since long…(long means since Dec ’08 ). Phew…had to delete many of them as now I feel they are outdated and have found answers to many of the questions I had, also this time I did changed the template of the blog.

Life in the past 1 year have surely being a roller coaster ride…with lots of upheaval moments, many opportunities… but still very positive for me…have learned a lot…personally feel have done things which I never thought I was capable of. On the negative side...I learned I was less communicative, less social also have become more cautious and reserved sort of person with a constant fear that life is not going anywhere and now have decided to do something very drastic about that. I would never say I was a very happy go lucky person anytime…I am and always was a serious sort of person amongst my siblings… Maybe losing someone very dear and being the eldest made me more responsible and serious in life. I just didn’t realize when I walked past the line of self-control and inched towards wanting to fanatically control over every aspect of my life.

Like everyone else I am trying to juggle every ball life is throwing at me and hoping to achieve that perfect balance knowing that this is the game we're meant to play every day. Now I have realized certain aspects of life...for me it is a struggle and a test of my physical and mental endurance to get that perfect harmony that have always eluded me and to stand up every time with a smile and be cheerful or whatever else it is that the situation demands of me. I am just getting ready to change the mechanism of my life wanting to revisit my old self again, want to be aggressive, risk taker and person with opinion again as always was and that would take time but longing to get back to that self of mine.

Thinking of how to get back…..safe way or full throttle guns…what say…

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